My rant about my future

K, so I think I'm done talking about my past. Now for the future.. well.. my plans and dreams anyways... So! The future... um... where to start? Well I guess I should explain the band failing.
So the whole "lets make a band!" thing lasted a little while after me and Brandon started going out but eventually we just stopped talking about it and one day I was thinking, "Huh.. I'm not sure if music is really the career I want to get into.." (I think this was somewhat electronic music's fault. Well, not fault, but by recording music with groups and stuff I guess I sort of got an idea of how being in a band would be like and I was just like um.. I'm not so sure any more... I mean, it's fun and everything but time consuming and.. I don't know, I guess it's just not my thing.) Instead... what I have planned to do is to go to Appalachian State (gah! that place looks amazing!) and, well... I know I want to major in Interior Design cause I've always loved that and so it's sort of like my back up plan.. and I think I want to double major in that and Art. I want to get my Bachelor's in those things and after that I'd like to move to London and get my degree in Circus Arts at The Circus Space :D Going to The Circus Space as a foreigner costs about £13,340 and as a EU or UK resident is £3145. So... I'd like to move to London after I finish at ASU and just live there for a year so I can get residency status.

Anyways.. I'd like to be an Acrobat and maybe a Contortionist ^_^ It takes two years to get a foundation degree in Circus Arts but I'd like to stay another year so that I can get a BA (Hons) Degree in Circus Arts. After finishing there I want to start my own circus and start traveling the world and putting on shows. ^^

OK, so yea.. I know.. maybe you think being in the circus is kind of weird... Half of the people that I've told that I want to be in the circus have all given me weird looks. But.. eh, whatever. I love acting with my drama club, but I like the idea of being in a circus better because it'll basically be like acting but more exciting and it will keep me in shape.
My family recently got the Wii fit and I really like exercising on it for (Only.. its just at my dad's house. My mom has a Wii but she doesn't have the wii fit yet. I'm only with my dad every other weekend so I don't get to use it everyday like I'd like to, but I've noticed that when I am with him nobody uses it so I want to ask him if i can just bring it over to my moms house so I can exercise daily). I think that thing works really well. The first time I used it I ended up being sore for a couple days. So I've seen the parodies for the Wii fit, lol, I love it. But the Wii fit is actually pretty cool and fun, unlike what its parodies may make you think.

Gah.. I talk about my future way too much... I don't know.. I just freak out about it a lot. I just don't want to mess anything up by being my usual self and forgetting about something or by putting it off until I don't have enough time to get it done. I finally applied for the SATs by the way :) That was one thing I was worried about. I figured I'd most likely forget about it and that would just screw all kinds of things up. Anyways, I'm planning on taking my first SAT in March and then I'll take a second in May and then my last in October. Why October? Well, I'd like to apply early to Appalachian and I just want to get my three SATs out of the way. So.. yea. That's basically it for now.
Thanks for reading ^_^

School!

So... Let's see... What else is there for you to know? Oh, school. OK, so this year I got classes at the career center. I'm taking Japanese, Electronic Music, and English over there. And at my home school I have U.S. History and Math.

Japanese is a good class, the teacher is kind of... i don't know.. harsh at times... Sometimes I wonder if she even understands us (She's Japanese). Its been fun and I love learning how to speak Japanese and learning about the culture, but I don't know if I'm going to be taking it again next year (I'll explain this in my next post).

Electronic music is ridiculous! First off, when I went to open house at the career center, my teacher, Dr.Elis, told me how he normally doesn't have very many girls in his Electronic Music class. When school started though there ended up being 5 girls in his class (Which is apparently the most he has ever had) One of the girls, Taylor, ended up dropping the class (I have English with her) She said she figured it'd probably end up being one of those classes that she'll end up failing because she just doesn't like the teacher. Eh, oh well. The guys in the class are pretty cool. They're very funny and they used to make that's what she said jokes and such all the time but Dr. Elis banned them from making those kinds of jokes. However, since then he has made a few inappropriate jokes himself (When talking about a mic with an all around pick up he said I used to know a girl like that; when asked if he was going to have a good weekend he said, "yea, I don't know what her name is yet, but it's going to be a great weekend; um... there's some other ones but I cant think of them at the moment...) So the class itself is pretty fun well.. when we're making music at least. The note taking part is a bit boring, but when ever we get into groups to record its just amazing and fun (For the most part anyways). Everyone is playing music and working together, making jokes and beautiful music and having fun ^^
The past groups I've been in have kind of failed at successfully recording without any problems. First, I was in this on group where our tape got erased twice! Then I was in a group where... well... I don't think we recorded at all, we never could figure out what we were going to do and one of our group members kept missing school and that just messed things up... In the group I was last in, we had decided to do "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana but the main person who knew the song missed school a couple days and took our tapes with her... So there we were on the last day we had to record.. thinking that all we had to do was lay down a few more tracks for "Heart Shaped Box" but no... the girl who had our tape wasn't at school, of course... so what we ended up doing was just improv.ing something. The song end up being a rap, we recorded the drums, guitar 1, guitar 2, keyboard (me! :D I'm pretty happy with how my part came out), and then Jordan made up a pretty amazing rap (Involving love, Dr.Elis, and Kirby (no, not the little pink dude. its a kid in my class and i will explain his importance later). I'm looking forward to hearing this one finished (Jordan ended up having to stay after class to mix down) We got to use a compressor for the first time (Which we used on Jordan's rap).

OK, so English... It's an honors class but our teacher is new and.. well... he can't really control his class that well in my opinion. lol.. he's cool but we just completely confuse and freak him out sometimes with our.. well, just being us. There's this one kid in my class, Elias, who is never in his seat. We've decided that he has some kind of fear of seats. God, I love that class and its randomness. Mr.Mcnease (my teacher) lets us form group and work outside in the common area but most of the time we just goof off and talk. For example, one time Sheah told our group (Taylor, Elias, and Me) about how he had a teacher in like the... 1st grade? who got hit by a car and died and when his class was told this, everyone was excited cause none of them liked her and Sheah is just now realizing how messed up that was. Yea.. so it sounds kind of horrible here, but it was ridiculous and random and everyone was laughing, especially Elias, I thought he was going to die. And then once Sheah randomly told Mr.Mcnease that he can't get high school girls so he has to go to elementary and middle school girls. I feel so sorry for Mr.Mcnease..

So at my home school I have U.S. History with Walker. He's a pretty good teacher. I'm just about failing his class but I feel like I'm really learning the stuff instead of memorizing it for tests. Most of the time at the beginning of class Walker will say we need to do this, this, this, and this today but he'll end up just lecturing the entire time while we're taking notes and then we have to do the other stuff at home (most of the time anyways...). So I got this Livescribe pen to use with that class since we do so much note taking and oh my god! It is amazing! I love that pen with a passion! It records what is being said as you write and and and... just look it up! I'm not going to explain everything here.

So, Math... *sigh* it's been ridiculous... I'm also about failing that class too... but that because my group hardly ever pays attention... 1) Mrs.Layton is just kind of hard to pay attention to. I find that when she talks that I get distracted pretty easily (most of the time by my group members Joey and Eli) and then I talk to them and I never find the will to pay attention again... 2) Some of the stuff that she talks about I already know about or just find it too confusing or I just get lost and give up on trying to get it to make sense...
So in math class.. instead of doing our work we talk, insult each other, have fight with various things such are pencil shavings, bits of.. um a pen Joey chewed up I believe... paper, Joey's dandruff ( By the way most of this stuff ended up at the bottom of my book bag...). Joey and Eli are ridiculous people. Joey is always eating (OK, so not eating exactly but chewing it up into little bits) Eli's pencils and pens. Once Eli was in another class and they were told to get out their pencils and he was like, "Well, I would but someone has ate the majority of my pencils" (or something like that) and of course everyone gave him weird looks. Joey is a bit disgusting.. but he's funny so I don't mind his disgusting and annoying-ness that much. Eli is pretty cool, the music he listens to is good and he can be pretty nice but most of the time he, as well as Joey, are insulting me. Accusing me of being emo and such... Sometimes their insults bug me, but only when I have already had a really bad day and am feeling self-conscious and just like crap. Other than that I can just ignore it cause I know they're just kidding (or at least I hope so...) and even if they aren't their opinion doesn't matter that much to me. I cried one time during that class though ^^; I really hate that I did that but I was just feeling depressed and so overwhelmed about so many things and then they go and be their normal douche baggy selfs and Eli yelled at me cause I was getting confused about the math work, he said, "We're just drawing lines Melena! How hard is it?!" and.. well that just made me feel dumb and really pissed me off... Before I had even came into the class I was already on the verge of breaking down. What had happened was just basically love felt like it was dying. Basically all of my friends were going through break ups and heart breaks or just depression. I had one friend who was upset and looked like she had been crying that morning because her boyfriend was moving to Florida and when my friends are depressed I tend to get kind of depressed too (I mean, how can you not get depressed when you see your friends crying or upset and depressed or whatever? or get pissed off when someone has done your friends wrong.) Yea... so there were a bunch of other things (some things that deal more with me) but its really more than I want to talk about. Anyways... that's basically how school has been for me. That and the stress from so much homework, projects, college, senior project, drama with friends, and other shit like that...

So I've finally joined the drama club which is a lot of fun. We put on the play "The one and only Santa clause" not too long it ago. I love acting :D The whole experience has been so much fun and amazing. This week I have exams (which was supposed to start today but thanks to the snow ^^ it got canceled. So now all the exams have been pushed back) and Friday we'll be having a party to celebrate what would have been the end of exam week but now I guess it'll just be to celebrate the end of the semester. My home school runs on the block schedule and so we get new classes with the new semester which is wonderful seeing as I will be getting rid of my two toughest classes. (I'm passing all of my Career Center class with ease by the way ^_^)

I'm sorta, kind of in the speech and debate club. I'll probably get more involved with it this next semester since my new classes should (hopefully) be easier. There have been times when Mr. Elimin has just not showed up to the meeting or he is out on the day of a meeting. When I was in speech and debate last year those days were.. well.. ok, cause then my friends and I would just hang around the school for a while.

I dropped Elite ladies this year. I decided that it was just too much work and too annoying to deal with and just not worth what I'd get in return. Which, I probably wouldn't end up getting because of my lack of involvement in the club because of having other stuff going on in my life (mainly school related).

Hmm... I think that's it for life at school. I'll probably end up mentioning something later, though. It shouldn't be a problem, and if it is then... well.. just get over it.

Catching up

Wow.. its been too long since I last made a post here... So since I missed my bus to the career center this morning and.. well.. i guess i should be finishing my math homework but its on Trigonometry and just very confusing and absolutely pointless. Yes, I know, there probably is some job in life where this stuff will be used but, as far as I know, that job would be something that is centered on all things Math. And in that case those things should be left to be taught to college students who will definitely need to know this stuff rather than high school students who the majority of probably will not ever need it.

OK, so.. in my last post I talked about going to a friends confirmation which was incredibly pointless and annoying. I also talked about going to some of my friends sweet 16 birthday party which I really need to tell you about. I noticed (and I may have mentioned this in my last post, but I cant really remember and I don't feel like going back to look) that my spelling and, OK, my grammar too, all sucks incredibly. I need to work on that.. My spelling has improved. ...Not by much, but whatever, grammar isn't really my thing anyways. (I made a 43 on the PSAT writing skills section and then a 52 on the critical reading part. At least on the critical reading my score was 68% higher that other juniors. Oh! And I made a 62 on the mathematics part ^^ 85% higher than other juniors. I probably would have done better in all of these if I could have at least finished them and had not had to rush so much)

OK! Now to catch everyone up. So I think I'll start with my friends sweet 16 birthday party that I mentioned earlier. It was quite amazing. I had to wear a dress to it and back then I wasn't really a big fan of dresses... I'm starting to warm up to them, but I don't have many dresses to wear so I still only wear them on special occasions (or when I'm forced to go to church...) Anyways, at the party I met the other kid that is in my band that I have talked about (The band no longer exists but I'll explain later). We hung around each other most of the time and talked some (Its kind of difficult to have a decent conversation when you have to talk over music that's so loud that you have to yell). So we danced and enjoyed the music and ate a bit (They had chocolate fountains and huge subs from subway ^^ The vegetarian subs were delicious and.. well... chocolate is always good). And then Howie Day's "Collide" comes on. The other kid (the amazing guitar playing guy, who's name is Brandon) in my (failed) band comes up to me and asks me to dance ^_^ It was really nice and my friends would come up behind Brandon and be all like, "Awwww...". After the "Collide" was over the music picked back up. Some of my friends would come up to me and make a heart sign with their hands as to ask, "Do you like him?" I said no every time ...but to be honest, I did like him BUT 1. I knew that he had a girlfriend and that girlfriend would be moving away soon 2. I had a crush on another guy and so I didn't want to jump into a relationship with Brandon and then realise that maybe I didn't like him so much and I just wanted someone to use to get past that other guy and I didn't want him to use me to get past his girlfriend cause rebound relationships aren't that great... and.. we were trying to get a band going with this guy being in a relationship with this guy would most likely complicate thing (At the time I also really wanted to be in a band. Now.. not so much, but I'll tell you what I'd like to do with my life later) So, first I guess I should finish talking about the dance. Well, we did the cha cha slide, the soldier boy (there a few other dances people did together to some songs but I didn't know any of them), and me and Samaire did our dance that we made up to The Bloodhound Gang's "Bad Touch" ^^

OK, so Samaire had her party at this building in this park (Sorry.. i cant remember any names but does it really matter?) and turns out that her ex-boyfriend decided to have his party on the same day, (basically) the same time, and at the same place. What was so amazing about this, is that no one showed up at his party ^^ ha! And I guess now you're wondering what he did to make us despise him so. Well, when they broke up (to each others faces) they agreed that things had just fizzled and that it was over, but afterwards we found out that her ex (who I will now refer to as Slime) was spreading rumors about things that they did while they were together.. So when we saw that no one came to his party, that just made the day even better. Later that night though he decided to show up at her party. Like, seriously??? Why would you go to your ex's party where most of her friends hate you? There were a few people at Samaire's party that Slime knew and he had a few friends with him, but that doesn't make anything better. I asked Samaire what she was going to do about it but she decided that she would be the better person and just ignore him (Good for her I guess. But his visit pissed some people off and I know I wouldn't have mind seeing him get his ass kicked) As the party ended and people left and the music stopped. Everyone left, hung around and took pictures and ate and talked. At some point we realised that one of the guests had gone missing. She showed up a bit later looking rather rough, turns out that she had been in the bathroom throwing up.. ick.. :[ At least she got to somewhat enjoy just chilling with everyone afterwards until she had to leave. That night I slept over at Samaire's house (which is always great cause it almost never happens)

OK, now for life after the party. So I was at home one day, on AIM like always and I get an IM and I was a bit confused about who it was at first but then he told me and it was Brandon ^_^ and so we talked, quite a bit actually and about many things. It was great cause I spent the majority of my time on AIM and so did he apparently. So we talked over the summer and later on towards the end of the summer he told me that he liked me ^^ I he had wanted me to guess it and we played 20 questions till I figured it out (or felt more sure about what he was going to tell me), but I didn't want to be like you like me? and have him say um... no? why would you think that? The would have been rather depressing for me... So he ended up being the one to tell me and I told him that I liked him too but I was unsure about doing anything about it at the time. So we continued talking and then when Samaire got back from seeing her family in Texas and Mexico (which she does every year) she had a get together where a bunch of her friends (including me and Brandon) got together and played laser tag. Before the whole laser tagging experience me and Brandon talked on AIM and I had realised that I haven't thought about the guy that I had had a crush on in a long time. And so I decided and told him that I wanted to start dating (I'm not quite sure what the exact words were but basically we decided to start dating). The day we went laser tagging was... OK.. cause at the beginning I ended up getting sick T^T I didn't throw up or anything but I felt like shit... Fortunately I started feeling better when it got closer to time to laser tag and the sickness never really came back ^_^ Laser tagging itself was OK, I guess I'm just not the kind of person who enjoys shooting her friends. Its not like I wouldn't ever do it again, its just not my first choice for "fun things to do". So that day Brandon and I kissed ^^ We had gone up to the observation room at the laser tagging place and we sat on a bench for a while and eventually kissed.. er.. made out really... ^^; anyways... this little kid had came up stairs to the observation room too and started playing the X box that they had there (lol... He had his back turned to us so we just ignored him). After a while Brandon got a call from one of our friends that was also at the laser tagging get together (they wanted to know where we had gone off to. ha..) So they came up to the observation room place too and found us and made jokes and so we all went back downstairs, laser tagged, played games, and just hung out.
So that was about 6 months ago. Brandon and I are still together but with him living 30 minutes away and going to a different school than me, it makes things kind of difficult... The beginning was great because we could hang out more but because of school and everything we don't have as much time. =/ but oh well... things will work out if they're meant to...