Oh my god.. Life...

So this past Saturday I convinced my dad to let me go over to my boyfriends house. It was rather hard convincing him cause he was like, "Didn't you just see him yesterday?" Argh... My dad is so dumb... I don't get to see my boyfriend that much. We go about a week at a time without seeing each other so I like to take advantage of having free time over the weekends by spending them with him. I ended up convincing my dad to let me go by telling him that Brandon (my boyfriend) wants me to bring my keyboard over so that he can add keyboards to his song that he is making. (Have I mention that my boyfriend is an amazing guitar player and song writer?) Also, I told my dad about having to write lyrics (the bully free one that i mentioned in my last post) for my Electronic music class and how I wanted for Brandon to help me with it since he has written lyrics before. I think that was what made him decide to let me go, because that was the only homework I had.

So I got to drive to his house. It was a rather rainy day and so my dad was telling me to slow down more than normal (I have a bit of a speeding problem ^^;) I hate having to go so slow... I especially can't stand getting behind a slow person. There were some places that I had to go to where the speed limit was 35. Oh my god... I couldn't stand it, but I made it through (after what felt like forever) and then pretty soon after I was at Brandon's house ^^

So when ever I got to his house we set up my keyboard, hooked it up to his lap top and attempted to record something but... turns out that we needed a CD that came with the keyboard, one that I didn't really have any use for at the time when I first got the keyboard and so I just stored it away... somewhere... So the whole attempt to record was an epic fail, but it didn't really matter to me because I was just happy to be with him (and so was he).

I didn't even attempt to write any lyrics for my class. I didn't plan on it in the first place ( but sshhh, my dad doesn't know this) I told Hannah (this girl in my group) from the beginning that I'm no good at writing lyrics and basically not to count on me for any song ideas. So I don't think it will really matter whether or not I contribute to the lyrics cause we have other people in our group who seemed not to be worried at all about writing them.

So anyways, I hung out with my boyfriend all day and it was just nice. He doesn't have the most loving family but it is quiet there and no one ever bothers us. Where as at my house it always seems to be so hectic, with my baby sister crying, or my mom yelling, etc. So it's really nice to go over to his house and just chill (other than the fact that i get to spend time with him of course).

Before I had left to go to Brandon's house I compromised with my dad and we agreed that I would be home by 8 because we were planning on going skiing the next day. And so 7:30 came (Probably a little latter than that but we did try to leave on time. It takes us about 30 minutes to get to my house from his) and me and my boyfriend left his house (rather reluctantly as always). So I called my dad on the way there to let him know that we're on our way and that I wanted to take my keyboard and stuff to my moms house (that where I keep my keyboard) and so we would be a little late.
Anyways, we ended up getting back to my dads house just ten minutes late. Because of us planning on going skiing the next day, Brandon couldn't hang around. So we said our good byes and he left.

When ever I got in the house I started getting my stuff together for our trip (and I made some popcorn. I had an incredibly craving for popcorn). After that I got on my computer and did a little SAT prep.
About thirty minutes passed (which meant that my boyfriend should back at home) and I got a text from him saying, "I love you. Something happened. Check facebook." So I checked facebook and also signed onto aim to talk to him and find out what exactly had happened. On facebook he had on his status that he had a mini crisis. When I was talking to him on aim he told me that he thought that he had just had a stroke or something of the sort. The whole thing sort of freaked me out and I tried to talk to him and find out what exactly had happened, I also tried calling him but he was freaking out about what had happened and didn't really answer me. He posted a note on facebook telling exactly what had happened. He was driving along I-40, singing along to a song when everything went blank for a second and then his hearing was so distorted that he couldn't make anything out and his sight was so blurred he could barely see. Also, he couldn't move his arms or legs! Once I read this I really started to freak out but by then he had already told me that he was going to bed. I tried to keep him from leaving me until he would tell me exactly what happened but then he was just like, I'M GOING TO BED! CHECK FACEBOOK! so.. I did. After that I was just so completely freaked out and upset because, well, he could have almost fucking died!

T^T I don't know what I would do without him. I just really wanted to talk to him, or see him, or just to know that he was OK, but he had gone to bed and so I couldn't a hold of him. I decided to look up symptoms of a stroke as well and what I found led me to believe that it was a stroke as well and then I read that if you have a stroke then you need to get to the hospital within an hour. So of course I was like, OK, I don't care if Brandon is already asleep, he needs to get to the hospital. So I was about to call his house and tell his parents that he needs to get to a fucking hospital now. But then I heard my step mom down stairs and so I decided that I should first go talk to her about it. She reassured me that it most definitely was not a stroke because those only happen to infants (under the age of one) or to middle aged people (she also said that it could happen to people who have done too much cocaine, but Brandon definitely doesn't do that so therefore I eliminated a stroke from what could have happened). So what it could have been was:
1) When Brandon was a baby he had a concussion and so people who have had concussions are more likely to have seizures than those who haven't because of the possible scare tissue on the brain.
2)He could be hypoglycemic. Meaning that his blood sugar got so low that it caused all that stuff to happen to him (But Brandon drinks so much soda that it'd be impossible for that to happen)
3)He could have hyperventilated without knowing it while singing.
4)He could have also had a panic attack (But when I talked to him later he said that he really doubts it)

Argh... Oh my fucking god.... Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK! This whole thing scared me so bad cause, you know, before stuff like this happens you don't worry about taking days of you life for granted. You can lay around the house being lazy and not feel bad about it cause you're just like eh, I've got the rest of my life to do exciting things but when stuff like this happens you realize that you're life could end at any moment. The life of someone you love could end at any moment! I've really been trying not to hold grudges, get mad, have regret, or stuff like that cause I had realized this whole 'your life could end at any moment' quite some time back but you know, after a while you forget about it and you don't worry so much about. I'm not saying that you should worry over it but just know that it could happen any moment and so you need to live your life to the fullest and learn to appreciate every moment of it that you get to spend with the ones or love or just doing the things you love. Life is definitely too short to have regret, anger, or grudges against one another. So from now on I'm gonna live my life to the fullest, have no regret in the things I do, and try my best to keep a level head.